HSEP51: It’s okay to start over; here’s how, in 5 steps
It’s okay to start over; here’s how, in 5 steps
I’m starting over; it’s time for a new re-birth.
Naturally, I’m scared, excited, and both nervous, and focused.
In some ways, it’s a personal rebranding that includes a business (service) rebranding, allowing myself to re-align with my genuine and current interests. During the past 18 months, a lot has changed for me. It feels like I was slowly crawling out of an old skin and into a new life and way of being. Things I struggled with for decades dissolved and faded away. And now, I’m presented with a new landscape that invites me to explore, grow, and share in new ways.
What’s not changing is my love, passion, and devotion for spiritual insight and wisdom. I will continue to share in similar ways, publicly, 1-on-1, and in groups.
What IS changing… is my long-term focus on business building and my personal lifestyle design. I’m not only building a business that focuses on sharing; instead, I'm building a business (service) that focuses on… Heart-Based education and training for thriving in Life and Business.
This combines my two primary passions. 1. Insight and wisdom about life & being human. 2. The world of business building and being of service in the world.
Here are some playful reflections on the path toward starting over, which I will dive deeper into during tomorrow’s live video broadcast.
It’s okay to start over; here’s how, in 5 steps
Life is a journey from birth to death. Within this journey, there are numerous deaths and rebirths that symbolize letting go and starting over. Sometimes we feel trapped, stuck in a skin that feels disconnected from our deeper authenticity. While that skin may have fit perfectly at some point, we've since grown, and now we must shed that skin if we are to continue growing.
Of course, this concept of “skin” can apply to many aspects and areas of our lives. We are constantly growing, developing, and discovering new challenges. At each stage, we are invited to release what no longer serves us and embrace new opportunities.
You’re Not Really Starting Over
At first glance, it may seem like you're starting over; it can certainly feel that way. But in reality, you're growing. Like with birth and death, it may appear to be a beginning and an end, but it's simply a new stage of experience.
This realization is important to recognize. If we don’t, then the perceived loss is too great, and the fear of that loss might leave us in a state of paralysis.
What I find helpful is reflecting on the many times I started over in the past, when I let go of the old and stepped into the new. While I used to fear “starting over,” it's clear to me now that I was simply growing. There’s a beautiful shift here in how we perceive, which may allow us to breathe more deeply and become more open. In our openness, we can receive life’s guidance and support as we move forward.
Here are 5 Steps to starting over that you might find helpful:
- Acknowledge and OWN the Suffering
- Wake Up to the Journey of Growth
- Release Seriousness & Embrace Sincerity
- See & Breathe… into the Opportunity
- Release the Others, the World, and Myself
Let’s briefly dive into these steps
1. Acknowledge and OWN the Pain
Suffering points the way toward healing. If I don't acknowledge the suffering, I can't find a clear path back to wholeness and pleasure. The mistake I’ve made in the past is seeking pleasure to cover up pain and suffering, instead of allowing pain to guide me toward natural and balanced pleasure.
Furthermore, I need to own my pain. This means recognizing where I project and blame my pain on others instead of acknowledging that it stems from self-rejection, misunderstood lessons, or self-denial of what is deeply sincere within myself.
It can be scary to face our pain and suffering, fur sure, but denying or projecting it (blaming) only leads to a sense of powerlessness. When I recognize that the suffering I experience is “somehow” my creation, it puts the potential solution back into my hands. Just like touching a hot stove, the burn is a result of my actions; the hot stove was being a hot stove.
2. Wake Up to the Journey of Growth
Early on, I had misunderstood the point of life. I used to believe that it was all about finding something to hold on to, something that would keep me safe, secure, and comfortable. Essentially, I thought that the point of life was to avoid being afraid. I was afraid of being afraid.
And now, looking back, if I ask myself, “What has been the point of it all?” the answer is, “The point was to grow through my fears, so I could see more and more that there was nothing to fear. The point was growth.”
3. Release Seriousness & Embrace Sincerity
Life has shown me that “Life” is not serious, even though I can imagine it to be. Meaning, there’s nothing real to be lost; there is only an ever-deepening discovery of just how amazing and beautiful life really is. The invitation in Life is to dive inward and explore what it is to be human and our inherently sacred connection with all that is. This is not serious, it’s deeply sincere. There is no demand, no expectation, no should or should not.
This is the gift, the opportunity given to all. And, in the most beautiful way, our human journeys, with all the suffering and struggle, point us in the direction of being more honest with ourselves. This self-honesty is the embrace of what is real, authentic, and sincere within us. The journey of growth is to allow for this sincerity to be seen, felt, and shared.
4. See & Breathe… into the Opportunity
There is tremendous value in taking time to reflect on the opportunity before you, the opportunity of seeing, feeling, and sharing what is real, authentic, and sincere within you. For me, it’s a bit of a meditative exercise. I like to take a moment and be still, allow myself to stare into the heart of this opportunity. I can see my fears, but I can also see that these are the same fears that have always been there, the fundamental fear of being myself, of being honest.
To rest in this stillness, to breathe deeply, and to honor the heart of the opportunity, inspires a courage that invites myself to start taking small steps forward. These are moments to get back in touch with my heart and the reality of the journey I’m on, rather than being lost in old stories about who I am and the life I’m living.
5. Release Others, the World, and Myself
For me to move forward, what I see that’s often in the way are fears about what other people will think, fears of losing my place in the world, or fears about stepping into the unknown. Yet, at the same time, if I am to truly move forward, these are the same fears that I’ve been invited to walk through. I’m invited to let go of what I think other people are thinking about me; I must release them and allow them the freedom to think whatever they think. Additionally, I’m invited to release the world. Part of this recognizes that I’m not here to get something from the world; I’m here to share something with the world. I’m not here to find my place; I’m here to create a space that aligns with the sincerity of what I am.
Most importantly, I’m invited to release myself. This is to unburden myself from stories in the past and to allow for today to be a new day, the start of a new journey. The more I examine these stories, the more fascinated I become at just how irrelevant they are. The stories are just stories, collections of thought patterns strung together, and they speak to what I’m not. What I really am is here and now, relatively empty, with small seeds of deep sincerity; sincerity about what really calls to me, sincerity about what I’m genuinely interested in, and sincerity about what I would like to explore.
I’m the only one who says, “No.” I’m the only authority in my life who can either give myself permission to be sincere, and also the only one who can deny myself that permission.
Okay, thanks for hanging out with me for this edition of Monday’s InSight Letter. I’ll be exploring this topic a bit more in tomorrow’s live video broadcast for the “Holding Space for Love to be Seen Podcast.” Come, play.