HSEP46: How Do I transform myself?
The person you are today is not the same person who will have your desired experiences tomorrow. The obvious path here is to identify the desired experience and clearly see the person you must transform into to allow those experiences to become manifest. In this exploration, you will come to see how the person you are now is pushing away those experiences.
Self Transformation, generally, can be approached in two different ways.
- With Seriousness (fear)
- With Playfulness (love)
The Serious Approach involves tying your personal worth and value to a desired outcome. It assumes that if you can be the way you want to be, then you will be worthy, loved, whole, and complete. This approach is driven by a fear of not being enough.
However, this approach is flawed because even if you achieve your desired outcome, there will always be a new gap between where you are and where you could be. There will always be more opportunities for growth and transformation. If your worth and value depend on closing the gap, you will never feel complete and will always be striving for more.
The Playful Approach is about understanding that personal transformation is not about fixing yourself or becoming more whole, lovable, or accepted. It is about discovery, exploration, adventure, and play. Personal transformation is an opportunity that comes with being human.
This approach also involves recognizing your inherent wholeness, worth, and value as you are. To illustrate, it is like the difference between a confused artist who paints for the world's approval and an artist who paints because they love to paint. The confused artist is driven by fear of not being enough, while the heart-based artist paints because painting is a sincere expression of who they are.
The person we are, whether we realize it or not, has been shaped to be who we are now. However, that person is a temporary manifestation, not a permanent one. "Person" refers to the persona, which is simply the current mask being worn or the shaped role being played out. Therefore, the person is not a fixed identity that remains over time.
If we identify with the persona, the mask, or the current role, thinking that it's what we really are, we become trapped in it and afraid to allow it to shift and transform.
Being Playful and Consciously Selective
There is great wisdom in seeing that you are not this 'person.' This wisdom allows you to become incredibly playful and consciously selective about the person/role you would enjoy playing the most. The unconscious one allows others and society to pick your persona/role/mask for you. This only leads to feeling disconnected in your person or role, where the person/role feels serious rather than playful. The conscious one chooses a persona/role that they would enjoy stepping into. This sets the stage for a life of authentic engagement, rapid growth, and genuine play.
Common Persona Transformations
Transformations such as these will always come by realizing that what you are is not the current persona and seeing that the current undesired persona was only reached via unconscious participation. The current persona was shaped via learned reactionary patterns, rather than deliberately created patterns.
Some common persona transformations include:
- From a person who struggles in relationships to a person who thrives in relationships
- From a person who leads others with fear to a person who leads others with compassionate encouragement
- From a person who is always broke financially to a person who is abundantly supported for the value they provide
- From a person who is painfully introverted and anxious to an introverted person who explores being more extraverted
- From a person who feels trapped in their role to a person who feels flexible in their role
Playful Persona Transformation Worksheet
To help you integrate the transformation process, try using the Playful Persona Transformation Worksheet. The worksheet offers additional encouragement and insights that help you to understand the transformation process.
Essentially, the worksheet invites you to…
Imagine if life were truly a playground for you to explore different personas and roles. Which persona would you enjoy the challenge of stepping into?
Identify playfully where the gap is. How are you currently showing up in a way that isn't congruent with that new persona?
Create a list of 10 to 20 patterns and behaviors that are clearly pushing away that new persona. Be honest with yourself about which three of those things you can focus on now with the highest probability of transformation.
Make those three things a 30-day priority. Under those three things, create a list of triggers to watch out for, and write a transformational statement to remind yourself when those triggers arise.
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