20) Why is This Happening to Me?! - Meditate Now
Audio Version - Guided Meditation
Written Transcript of the guided meditation
We're just going to jump into it. That feels good. Welcome to the Meditate Now podcast. In this episode, I just feel so heartfully required to put a disclaimer out there. The title of this guided meditation is "Why Is This Happening to Me?" and the disclaimer is— this isn't about you and this isn't about anyone else. This is me talking to myself, looking at my own direct experience, and sharing what I see. I'm only talking about my own experience. You can listen to my song and find some value. If not, that's fine, too.
But I say this so that we can reduce our grip on the assumption that I'm trying to tell other people what their experience should or shouldn't be. I'm not doing that. I'm sharing something that I find to be profoundly beautiful and true. I know that I cannot adequately articulate it in my use of these silly words that ultimately define nothing that's real. So we can approach this very playfully. It's not serious.
Is it Really Happening to You? Or Are Those Just Your Interpretations?
But this title, "Why Is This Happening to Me?" For me, there's great humor in this title, because as I investigate my own experiences with the things that I think are happening to me, as I get still and see what's real, I see that nothing's happening to me, which invites a pretty awesome relaxation, because so often in the agitation in the disturbance and the fear and the anxiety that arises, because we are convinced that something's happening.
In that happening, we have the assumption that what we crave is in jeopardy. We have the assumption that what we are is incomplete, unwhole, unlovable. We have lots of assumptions about what's happening, which is really just an interpretation, a projection of meaning that's not there outside of my own creation of it. Not only that, but the story that's being told in those projections, those stories are only happening in the realm of stories with a belief that it's actually happening. This is the beauty of meditation, naturally, is that it invites us to be still and connect with what's really happening.
In the discovery of what's really happening, you see what's actually true, and you can release what is untrue gently. You can breathe into what's real and discover profound gratitude for what's real, profound gratitude that the stories I'm imagining aren't happening, because that would really suck if they're happening, which, of course, if believed, then it really sucks.
But in the spirit of that, let's take a moment and dive into this guided meditation and just see what happens. Here we go.
Start of Guided Meditation
Connect with What’s Really Happening
All right. Welcome to this moment.
Can we just check in and be here?
Let's just take a nice, big, deep breath.
Relax into the present moment. We can quickly recognize all the noise in the mind thinking about this, that, and the other. But we're going to set that down for just a little bit and connect with what's really happening.
Again, let's just notice that for a second. You can be in this moment. You can be thinking about yesterday. You can be thinking about ten minutes from now. You could be thinking about next week, next year, ten years ago.
Right? You can be caught up in all sorts of mental commentary about something that's not happening, or you can just be here with me. It's like an epic time-out from thinking. So let's drop into that space.
You can allow your breath to bring you home to this moment. Just put your attention on it. Watch it happen.
You can tune in to the presence. Maybe there are sounds that were once distant and they become louder.
Just be still.
Recognize an opening that as you become more and more present, it's as if the awareness expands.
Breathe into that awareness, that openness.
Nothing is Happening
I invite you to recognize something.
I invite you to recognize how little is happening. As you're here with me right now, can you get the sense that nothing is happening?
See that in contrast to all the stories you could tell about what's happening and see that those stories aren't actually happening.
I guess in a playful way, we can look at the example of your mind can say, "Well, Tiger is talking." Of course, in your mind, you have this idea of a character called Tiger, and you think that character is talking, but the character in your mind isn't talking.
You could even say, "Well, I'm breathing", but we could get into, who is this one that's breathing? Is it really who you think you are that's breathing, or is that life doing it?
Isn't that funny? The character that you imagine yourself to be, thinks it's breathing. That character is not doing anything. It's just taking credit.
Relax. Just let it be. Let it happen. Let the breath be natural. Let the moment be effortless.
Maybe you're going through some sort of experience, some sort of tough time and there's a mantra in your mind that says, "Why is this happening to me?" But hold on, wait a second. What's actually happening?
Is that really happening to you? Or are you just telling a story that it's happening to you? Are you projecting a meaning that's not really there?
You see, in the thing that you think is happening, are you experiencing the happening or are you experiencing the meaning?
That's important to see what has you disturbed is not the experience, but the meaning. Is that meaning actually happening or are you just seeing what the mind is turning it into?
Okay, well, let's just relax into what's real and take a breath.
Connect with Reality; Surrender the Mind
Connect with reality. Connect with what's actually happening.
Do you see, my friend, there is the life that is lived in the mind. Distracted by that which is imaginary. There is the life that's lived in life here and now in what is real.
I invite you to see that anything you say about reality, it's not that. Because that's just the mind engaging it again. The mind imagines things about reality.
If you're going to connect with reality, you have to surrender the mind. You have to find out for yourself.
Do you see that anything I say about life is to present a concept and idea? And life is not that.
The truth cannot be found there. If you want to know what is really happening, you got to get still. Be still and know. In that space, you will find the abundance of everything you're looking for — love, compassion, and freedom.
Love is to recognize that the reality of what you are is whole and complete, there's nothing missing.
Compassion is a deep understanding that it's all allowed. It's okay. To see something as not allowed, to judge it, only makes it more agitated and more violent.
Connect with reality and see that it's not what you think it is and see what it really is. Introduce love into the equation.
Freedom — Real freedom is to recognize, in so many ways, that what you think is happening isn't really happening.
To see that you're not touched by the mind's content. You're not held captive by any idea. You are in this moment and completely allowed to just be — you are free.
In that, you can extend this freedom to everyone and everything and let it all be free because it is. Have you ever noticed that? Whether you want it to be free or not, it's kind of irrelevant. It's free.
It’s Happening Because You Think It’s Happening
"Why is this happening to me?"
I want to say something in a very gentle and compassionate way. Take a breath.
"Why is this happening to me?" Because you think it's happening. That's why it's happening.
"Why am I being rejected?" Because you think you're being rejected.
"Why is this not working out?" Because you think it's not working out.
"Why are they such terrible people?" Because you think they're terrible people.
It's like saying, "Why do I see this story?"; "Why do I see this meaning?" Well, Where's it coming from? Part of the tension that clings to these meanings and stories is because there's a belief that the meaning or story is actually out there.
The more you see that the meaning and the story aren't actually out there, then it becomes soft and moldable. You can loosen your grip.
Right? You recognize this. The more you think it's out there, the more powerless you become. But the more you see that you are the creator of it, you start to see that it can change.
It's as simple as a transformation to or transformation from; what is this problem to what is this opportunity? How is this against me? Or how is this for me?
You find what you look for. If you look for a problem, you'll find it. If you look for an opportunity, you'll find it.
So, start over. Come back to what's real. Connect with the emptiness and see that nothing is happening. Then look at your circumstance with brand new eyes.
In that, in some way, you will add more love to the equation.
Thanks for hanging out with me. Until next time. Cheers.
