HSEP31: Why Life Isn't Fair (And Why That's a Good Thing)


I remember so many times 🤦‍♂️ painfully thinking to myself, and even shouting out loud, "LIFE ISN'T FAIR!"

This made me so angry, so defensive, and so guarded, and underneath all of that I was so scared. I had it in my mind somewhere that Life was supposed to be fair, and if I was a 'good' person, then I would receive my fair share. Additionally, and naturally, this turned into resentment for those who seemed to have more than more, or struggled less than I did. The silly thought... "well, that's not fair."

In my looking for things to be fair, in my WANTING things to be fair, I was simultaneously looking for things that were unfair. 🤯

Look, I mean, it's a great/cute idea that fairness is important, but does that also imply that fairness is a real thing? Real, as in, LIFE itself honors your idea of fairness? Does fairness exist outside your idea about what it is? This is important to look at, because so often we have these concepts in our mind, and we assume they are real, meaning... we are under the assumption that Life "should be" fair. Which is also like saying... "Life should be what I think it to be." Furthermore, we want Life to match these ideas we have, and this only puts us in opposition to Life, to... what is real and/or true.

Maybe even more important to note, is that the concept of fairness, implies unfairness, and in no way am I suggesting that Life is "unfair." If Life was"Unfair," then that implies there is something real that is "Fair." These are simply mental constructs that human beings project onto life, as an innocent attempt to keep their mental-shit together. However, again, it just puts us in a state of opposition, fighting for a reality that will never be reality.

Comically, we live in a society that righteously believes in these concepts as real things, that then tries to force reality (and humans) into this box. If you look closely, you'll see this only results in massive amounts of judgment, protected guilt, and punishment; all of which don't serve the real heart of being human. The social idea is that this wellness, this... healing, exists in the future; "if only we can make things fair!"

How's that going? 🙄 Wanting What is NOT, is a recipe for suffering. Wanting Life to be fair, only empowers the concept of unfair. I guess it's also worth mentioning, silly humans, we think our own concept of fair, is a reality of fair. When, really, what you think is fair is not what another person thinks if fair. Then, of course, we are back in the delusion of fighting each other over the protection of our cherished concepts (illusions) - which only result in some flavor of war 🤦‍♂️.

For those, who like me, who have a love-affair with the wholeness in Life, the deep recognition that ALL is really ONE. The concept of fairness implies... TWO. The concept of fairness creates separation, a separation that only exists in the mind and not in reality. If all was really ONE, then Fairness or Unfairness, would simply be... insanity.

You know what else? Here's another Truth Bomb 💣 - the belief in the concept of fairness, 100% requires you to... compare yourself to others. It requires you to constantly be looking at what you only 'think' others have, and minimizing what you have. ALSO... you'll look at what you have, and then think it's UNFAIR that you have what you are. Ohhh, Emmm, Geee 😳 (OMG). What an extraordinary web of suffering we weave for ourselves.

I guess, quickly, to touch on the topic of Justice as well, even though that will probably be another subject/video in the future. This is, again, another attempt by the mind to protect its own self-illusions, assuming that somehow Life isn't already inherently whole and complete, and WE, in our imagined self-importance, must make things whole and complete. How? With Judgment, of course; Tada! Judgment that becomes projections of our own inner-guilt - thrown onto other people. Then, of course, we want to punish others, which gives us some sort of malicious power-trip that sees ourselves as having some semblance of control.

Okay, okay, I understand that the mind can freak out when it comes to exploring these things. Like, "WTF, how can society be society with what you're suggesting?" Or... "What are you saying, Tiger?! That we shouldn't do this or do that - as it relates to dealing with people who do things that harm others?!"

Well, firstly, I'm not suggesting YOU or OTHERS should or should not do anything, that's never the point of my sharing. I have zero interest in telling you how to live your life or being an authority in other peoples lives. What I'm sharing, is what I see within my experience, and how my old belief in fairness and unfairness, justice and injustice, only resulted in personal suffering that didn't allow me to authentically enjoy Life and... LOVE others as they are, and... LOVE Life as it is. Always and forever, I'm writing and speaking to myself, you just get to listen in. 😂

If you're curious, and want to go deeper into this pointer for yourself, I would playfully invite you to explore how much these concepts of fairness and justice result in the resentment you carry around, and how it leads to projecting guilt and fantasies of punishment; which, if you look more closely, will only be a reflection of how you see yourself.

To conclude this pre-broadcast reflection... Beyond all these silly ideas we've been sold, from a society of humans that doesn't see their inherent worth, value, and innocence, there is a reality to LIFE that is already supremely Just, supremely Fair, without even containing the possibility of an opposite. There is a BALANCE that is already maintained and cannot be escaped; to the degree, again, that there's no possibility of it ever being unbalanced. In other words, LIFE is whole and complete, and cannot be any other way.

Oh my goodness, I'm so stoked for the Live Video today on this topic, for the "Holding Space for Love to Be Seen" Show/Podcast.

In Summary

  • 🤦‍♂️ Remember all those times we thought, "Life isn't fair!"? Yeah, those were rough.
  • 🤯 We thought that if we were "good" people, life would treat us fairly. But what is "fair"? Is it a real thing or just a mental construct?
  • 🤔 The concept of fairness implies unfairness, and we try to force reality into this box, but it just leads to judgment, guilt, and punishment 💔
  • 💣 Truth bomb 💣- Believing in fairness requires comparing ourselves to others and constantly minimizing what we have, as if it's unfair that we have what we have - or that what we have is not enough.


Come play with me today, for the Live Broadcast, for "Holding Space for Love to Be Seen."Join the conversation by watching live on YouTube, share your comments, bring your questions, and let's HOLD SPACE together.

If you are part of the FREE inLight Connect Community, you can watch the recording here for a limited time.